The old country? Yeah, I remember the old country. Long time ago, some good times, some bad. I was a little boy there, runnin' around my brothers and cousins, doin' a little 'you know'. You don't know? Yeah, like we get in trouble maybe sometimes. Not much money in those days, not in the family, so we go get some. That's why we finally come here, you know? Land of opportunity and all that shit.
Yeah, so the one of the things I remember best as a boy, in the old country, I remember the day when we got us a queen. It was spring, right? Birds chirpin' and all that shit, and my uncle Sal comes out of the front door and onto the little porch he had, and says to Aunt Eloida, "we got a queen now," just like that, and I remember the way she looked at him, like she didn't know what to say. One of my sisters squealed "a queen--" Yeah, that was my little girl voice, you got a problem with that? That's how little girls talk, pal, they talk just like that. That's what I thought. Anyway, she said "a queen" in her girl voice, way back then, and I smacked her in the head because you know, a man was talkin'. But all us kids were really listenin' anyway, even the ones that knew when to shut the fuck up, because, you know, what the fuck, the old country didn't have no queens before.
"The fuckin' rice-eaters up north," Uncle Sal was saying, and I could tell he was mad, "first they boss us around, and the families do ugatz to stop 'em. People getting hanged here, locked up there, sometimes shot. Now the king Umberto whats-his-name is offed, and now we got a Rundipi somthing-or-other. You know who shot him? Anarchists! What the fuck is that? We're the fucking anarchists, and we didn't do that!"
I remember that same spring, next I heard about that Queen Rundipi--La Regina, they called her--yeah, next I hear, she's calling up a navy and uncle Sal is putting out to the sea. Last time I see the old bastard. She's got a rice-eater army marching south toward us too, and even though they say it's all our army, L'esercito Italiano, I believe that shit about as much as you do. Yeah, that spring is when I knew I had to get the fuck out of the old country, but it took a couple more years before I ever did. That's another story though, maybe I tell you about it later. I sure ain't doing nothin' else.
Note on upkeep: Control of the provinces is evaluated in the winter. When you look at the Fall map (scroll down), please pay attention to the actual locations of the armies and fleets as well as what color the centers are.
Spring 1901 Movements [CLICK FOR MAP OF MOVES]:
Austria: Army Budapest -> Serbia
Austria: Fleet Trieste -> Albania
Austria: Army Vienna -> Trieste
England: Fleet Edinburgh -> Norwegian Sea
England: Army Liverpool -> Yorkshire
England: Fleet London -> North Sea
France: Fleet Brest -> Mid-Atlantic Ocean
France: Army Marseilles -> Spain
France: Army Paris -> Gascony
Germany: Army Berlin -> Kiel
Germany: Fleet Kiel -> Denmark
Germany: Army Munich -> Tyrolia (*bounce*)
Italy: Fleet Naples -> Ionian Sea
Italy: Army Rome -> Apulia
Italy: Army Venice -> Tyrolia (*bounce*)
Russia: Army Moscow -> Sevastopol
Russia: Fleet Sevastopol -> Rumania
Russia: Fleet St Petersburg (south coast) -> Gulf of Bothnia
Russia: Army Warsaw -> Livonia
Turkey: Fleet Ankara -> Black Sea
Turkey: Army Constantinople -> Bulgaria
Turkey: Army Smyrna -> Constantinople
Centers
Austria: 3
England: 3
France: 3
Germany: 3
Italy: 3
Russia: 4
Turkey: 3
[CLICK HERE FOR RESULTING FALL 1901 MAP]
3 comments:
Oh, Dear God, the Queen has died. Shock, no doubt, from the success of our manoeuvres. She claimed the whole thing was a Boerish trick to distract us from Africa and strand our navy in the ice off of...well...off of Iceland.
Edward VI (or VII - possibly VIII)
Dear me, we were unaware that Portugal was still a country let alone a legitimate monarchy.
If their King Carlos hadn't impregnated the daughter of our illustrious Philippe, Comte de Paris, we would not have even known he existed.
We hear he is bankrupting the country (for a second time!), especially since ceding control of Africa to our English friends.
France has no choice but to rescue our beloved Princess Amélie of Orléans from penury by sending reinforcements armed with champagne and truffles.
Ay yay yi! It makes us so very happy to know that our ascension should please a young child who has no hope otherwise. Perhaps I could take her into my service?
Molto molto bene, signore Keifus.
Post a Comment